The Mirrors of Russian Doll

The 2019 eight-episode comedy-drama series Russian Doll is fraught with seemingly miniscule references and motifs that subtly drive the show forward. The plot centers on Nadia Vulvakov (played and created by Natasha Lyonne) and Alan Zaveri (portrayed by Charlie Barnett), two individuals who are trapped in a Groundhog Day-style time loop. However, instead of “rebooting” every morning, they simply die, taking them back to their original placement: Nadia at her birthday party, and Alan at his apartment just before his girlfriend breaks up with him. Only when they are able to examine their inner demons (at times literally) and conquer their insecurities can they truly save each other. There are many subtle analogies scattered throughout the series, including addiction and recovery, and video games, as noted explicitly in the show by Nadia Vulvakov, a game developer herself. However, this essay will delve into an object analysis of season one of the show, studying the repeated references of mirrors and their significance to demonstrate that Russian Doll uses mirrors as a physical demonstration of how individuals handle their inner turmoil.

Framework

Throughout Russian Doll, mirrors and identity are closely interrelated. Mirrors represent an outside look into the inner self, and in studying Nadia and Alan’s interaction with their own reflections, it becomes clear that they are not fundamentally willing to explore the deeper side to themselves, their “inner demons.” The import of the mirrors, and the framework that we will be using for analysis, is most clearly defined in episode six, “Reflection,” during which we learn that Nadia’s mother, played by Chloë Sevigny, shattered all the household mirrors while Nadia was young during an undiagnosed mental health episode. When Alan enquires into “why mirrors,” to which Nadia’s aunt Ruth answers: “Reflection. Proof of existence. Another pair of eyes. See, that’s why therapists are important. Without them, we are very unreliable narrators of our own stories” (5:35). Later in that same episode, Nadia asks her friend, a homeless man named Horse (portrayed by Brendon Sexton III), “How do you know that you’re real? Do you think that we need people to be, like, witnesses?” (17:18). These moments seem almost inconsequential if not examined through the lens of the entire show. Ignoring the fact that the entire show is a series of mirrored sequences, due to Alan and Nadia continuously repeating the same night (up to roughly 24 hours later), the show is filled with references to mirrors. From the starting show to book references to camera shots, mirrors follow us throughout the season, becoming a metaphor for the need to stop relying on others to determine who you are and prove your reality, and to rather do it yourself.

Physical Mirrors

Russian Doll episode one begins with Nadia peering into the bathroom mirror during her birthday party at her friend Maxine’s house (image 1). The shot conveys the perception that we, the audience, are in the mirror, looking back at Nadia. The viewer is immediately, and consciously, put in the position of “a second pair of eyes,” as phrased by Ruth. We are the outsiders, watching Alan and Nadia try to escape from the time loops, providing the characters with the comfort of reality. Other than these moments in the bathroom, we rarely ever see the characters look at a mirror. The only other instance during which we see Nadia observing herself in a mirror is after Horse cuts her hair, to which she responds, “I look like my mom” (image 2). This moment tells us more than it potentially lets on: on the rare occasion that Nadia looks at herself in a mirror, she sees her mother–who seemingly had deep psychological issues–rather than herself. In fact, on nearly every occasion during which someone mentions Nadia’s mom to her, she immediately changes the subject, reacting almost as if she is offended. Nadia alludes later in the season to her guilt for her events that led to her mother’s death, which is perhaps why she seems so reluctant to perceive herself straight on–those demons from her childhood continue to haunt her.

There is only one other instance during which audience sees Nadia somewhat interact with a mirror, despite not actually looking in it. In episode 5, while visiting Ruth’s house, Nadia finds a set of Russian dolls and start unstacking them; however, we only see Nadia’s face during this through her reflection (image 3). While this moment seems more like a cinematographic easter egg than a genuine moment of character exposé, it provides more information than it lets on. Russian dolls, also known as nesting dolls, point to the idea that within each figurine, and each person, there are several layers before one reaches the most inner self–like peeling back layers of an onion. At this point, Nadia is unable, or just unwilling, to peel back her layers and discover her deepest self underneath. The fact that she does not look in the mirror during this sequence while she unstacks the nesting dolls demonstrates this fact, with the refusal to peer at her reflection reflecting her inability at this point to examine herself and unpack her inner resentment and guilt.

This scene with Nadia also points to another character’s relationship with mirrors. Ruth’s house, unlike that of Nadia and Alan, is filled with mirrors (image 4). Given that Ruth is a therapist, we see her relationship with herself different; unlike Mike, she does not rely upon the mirrors for her sense of self, but also feel no need to avoid them. Here, we see the “middle ground,” or the “healthy” relationship with mirrors. Considering that Alan is portrayed as having deep psychological issues, including suicidal thoughts, and Nadia as a “lady with a death wish” (S1:E8, 22:32), it is perhaps unsurprising that these characters do not want to truly see themselves.

The one time we see a mirror in Alan’s apartment, he is looking away from it, almost purposefully (image 5). The only other interaction he has with mirrors is in episode 4, when he confronts his girlfriend’s lover (Mike, played by Jeremy Bobb) and breaks the mirror in his office just after shouting “You don’t know me” (image 6). Alan’s response demonstrates a deep anger towards not only Mike, but towards being seen in this vulnerable moment and being “known” at all. Other than Alan’s relationship with mirrors, what is particularly interesting in this moment is Mike’s reaction to the mirror being shattered: after Alan leaves, he asks his student, “How’s my face? The mirror’s gone so I can’t tell” (21:54). Clearly Mike’s relationship with mirrors is so antithetical to that of Alan and Nadia that he depends on them for his reality.

Another recurring motif is that of people, animals, and objects simply disappearing. The first reference to this phenomenon appears in episode one, when Nadia’s cat Oatmeal seemingly vanishes while in her arms (20:25). Actual people start to slowly disappear as well, as evidenced by a comparison between a sequence in episode 2 when Nadia walks down the street (image 7) and a future iteration of the same scene, in which fewer people are present (image 8). At first it is nearly unnoticeable, but by the end, Nadia’s party is completely empty besides from her and her friend Maxine. Objects also start to disappear, including Alan’s engagement ring (image 9), and, most importantly, the mirrors that Alan and Nadia keep rebooting in front of (image 10).

However, with each person and mirror that disappears, one fewer conceivable “proof of existence” exists. Ironically, despite their seemingly intense desire to avoid looking at themselves too hard, with no more mirrors, friends, cats, or fish to find comfort in, Nadia and Alan are forced to turn inwards to confront themselves. Whether the characters need mirrors like Mike, or avoid them like Nadia and Alan, a sense of self-hatred lingers throughout the show. The only difference between them is that while Alan and Nadia are somewhat aware of their insecurities and psychological issues, Mike seems to suppress them so deeply that he must rely on external validation (via the mirror, and sex) to maintain an illusion of happiness, despite his flippant comment that he is “the hole where a choice should be” (S1:E5, 18:31).

Phycological Mirrors

It is not only physical mirrors that are represented in the show, but internal ones as well. As Ruth notes in episode 5, “Right now I am looking at you as you are today, while also looking at you as that peculiar little girl I knew” (11:16). This theme of duality is crucial to the show: while Nadia is one person now that she is grown up, we understand later that the little girl she was when her mother was alive, the one Ruth refers to in this aforementioned line, is still inside her, emerging as a deep-seated fear from her time with her mother and the guilt she holds on to for surviving it. This internal grief manifests physically in episode 7, when Nadia begins to physically see this younger self (image 11, 12), with every sighting causing the adult version of her to die. As the show progresses, not only do the characters turn to internal issues (rather than trying to solve their issues by questions drugs and such), but so do their deaths, which by the last episode are instigated by causes such as asthma, liver failure, and internal bleeding (rather than being hit by a car). Nadia can no longer ignore her reflection as it is there in front of her, and she must face it head on–which forces her to die over and over again until she can properly confront it.

Nadia continuously refuses to acknowledge her flaws, disregarding the extramarital affair she has with her ex-boyfriend John (portrayed by Yul Vazquez) and making a joke out of the idea that she is being punished for her wrongdoings, as suggested by Alan in episode 5 (1:05). She is called “the most selfish person I have ever met” by Alan in episode 7 (15:31), demonstrative of her survivalist mindset and apparent need for self-preservation, which is perhaps why she refuses to truly observe herself through the mirrors other than in Maxine’s bathroom. She is unable to process the two versions of herself, ignoring her younger self, the version of her that feels deep shame for her actions as a child and thus is unable to process her misdeeds growing up. Instead, she sees a romanticized version of herself; however, in refusing to reconcile the two, she is clearly deeply emotionally confused.

The show climaxes in episode 7 with Nadia dying in front of her ex-boyfriend’s daughter Lucy, who seems to transform, if only in Nadia’s mind, into her younger self (image 13). This is the first time that Nadia meets Lucy after backing out several times. Lucy represents a different kind of mirror, one that shows Nadia not who she is now, but rather one that reminds herself of that young girl she was and the emotional confusion and guilt she possesses regarding that time in her life. However, upon finally confronting this head-on, Nadia pulls a piece of mirror from her mouth (image 14), as Lucy says calmly, “she’s still inside you” (S1:E7, 23:42). The “she” in this line is purposefully vague, however, given that this moment is immediately followed by a flashback to Nadia’s mother breaking all the mirrors around the house, it can be inferred that Nadia has kept a piece of her mother with her throughout her entire life, weighed down by her guilt, and perhaps by the version of her mother that she sees reflected in herself.

Ruth unknowingly puts words to this phenomenon earlier in the episode, saying: “You were this tiny seed buried in darkness fighting your way to the light. You wanted to live. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you still have that in you? [Nadia shakes her head slightly] Nadia, I look at you chasing down death at every corner. Sweetheart, where is that gorgeous piece of you pushing to be a part of this world?” (18:54). Evidentially, this “tiny seed” does still exist, and is the cause of Nadia’s sightings/hallucinations of her younger self. Nadia wants to live but does not feel like she is deserving of it at this point because of her mother. However, when Nadia’s younger self in the future saying “Are you ready to let her die? This is the day we get free” (24:29), Nadia is finally giving herself to surrender the guilt and fear she has harbored and allow herself, for once, to want to live. She has embraced her reflection, accepted it as part of herself, and thus is finally saved.

In the next episode, Nadia reboots where she always does, but with all the mirrors and people returned and thing occurring as normal. She reacts to her party with an exuberant excitement that she does not display upon her initial entrance into the party in episode one. Having saved herself, can finally help save Alan–as he does the same for her.

Cinematography

In the first episode, we see Nadia visiting a deli and seeing Alan for the first time. The shot is mirrored: on one side we see Alan, in need of assistance due to his extreme post-breakup inebriation, and on the other side, there is a group of obnoxious Wall Street bros (image 15). In this moment Nadia decides to ignore Alan and pick on the others, a demonstration of her so-called selfishness at this point in her character development. This scene is replicated several times further in the series, most drastically in the final episode. After Nadia and Alan have finally done the work of addressing their suppressed issues, they are now in a place where they can support each other through one final test in which they must literally save the other. This is reflected in episode 8, when there are two versions of both Nadia and Alan in separate mirror universes, each universe having only one individual who possesses the knowledge of their past loops. This is visualized with four squares, each showing one of the now four individuals in play (two versions of Nadia, two versions of Alan), mirrored across the screen (image 16). Again, they are psychically confronted with a mirror, this time being an entirely separate universe.

With her newfound selflessness, Nadia this time ignores the Wall Street bros we saw in the first episode and instead attempts to help Alan. Both succeeded in saving the other, we again see the mirrors appear, this time with only two divisions, representing the two mirror universes each consisting of a now united Alan and Nadia (image 17). The mirrors are decreasing, and Nadia and Alan are slowly finding their way to a less disjointed, singular existence where they can recognize they own flaws and address them face on. The show ends with these two universes combining, the Nadia with knowledge of her past lives (distinguishable by a white shirt) and the Alan with the same knowledge (distinguishable by a red scarf) are reunited, with the other Nadia’s disappearing behind them (image 18). In this moment, the mirror selves do not necessarily vanish, but perhaps are merely incorporated into Nadia’s new self, the most inner version of her own nesting doll.

Emily of New Moon

Russian Doll is populated with obscure references to musicians, directors, and even books, most notably being Nadia Vulvakov’s favorite novel, Emily of New Moon. As Nadia says in episode 5, “everybody loves Anna, but I like Emily–she’s dark” (12:56). However, in delving deeper into the plot of Emily of New Moon, it becomes clear that there are more similarities between Nadia and Emily than just their dark personalities. Both are orphaned, have an Aunt Ruth, and have a strange relationship with their own reflection. Speaking about her relationship with the “Wind Woman,” Emily says “’I’ve known her ever since I was six. We’re old, old friends–but not quite so old as you and I, little Emily-in-the-glass. We’ve been friends always, haven’t we?’ With a blown kiss to Emily-in-the-glass, Emily-out-of-the-glass was gone.” (Montgomery, 5). In this moment, we see a deeply lonely girl who’s primarily companion has been her own reflection.

However, once her father dies and Emily must move live with her late mother’s family at New Moon, the mirrors are positioned too high to see herself. Even when she can view her reflection, she sees this version as a different “Emily-in-the-glass” from the one at her old home with her father at Maywood. Like Nadia, Emily no longer looks at herself in the mirror, despite it previously being a source of comfort for herself. She does not recognize her own reflection following her father’s death, and consistently wishes she would also pass away so she could join him and her mother in the afterlife: “He said he’d wait around and go slow until I died, too, so that I could catch up with him. I hope I’ll die soon.” (Montgomery, 35). This is reminiscent of Nadia’s death wish, which she admits to in episode 8. It seems that there is a type of survivor’s guilt that accompanies both Nadia (following the death of her mother) and Emily (following the death of her father) that makes both characters almost ashamed of looking at their own reflections.

Conclusion

Throughout Russian Dolls’ various loops, it seems that the universe is almost forcing Nadia and Alan to examine themselves. While they are quick to run away from the mirrors that keep appearing in front of them upon each reboot, they cannot escape the increasingly internal causes of their respective deaths or their reflections when it comes to physical manifestations of themselves popping up, as in the case of Nadia’s younger self. In her attempts to figure out why these loops are happening, Nadia hypothesizes that she and Alan are the same person (S1:E4, 18:44); while this isn’t the case, there is some truth to the statement. Despite their expansive differences, Nadia and Alan are mirrors of each other’s deep insecurities, most distinctly their shared fear of being crazy. However, when she no longer has the mirrors to assert her existence, she must rely on Alan to do so, who reflects her worse fears back at her. Both she and Alan must come to terms with how their neuroses have harmed those around them, as well as themselves, finally reconciling their darker mirror selves with the versions they want to be–unstacking their own emotional Russian dolls. Thus, the mirrors become a symbol of self-reflection, healing, and forgiveness of oneself, demonstrating that, while the help of others is necessary, only you can truly address the deep issues plaguing you.

Annex

Image 1, S1:E1, 0:06